In case you were wondering why I haven’t uploaded anything this week, here’s why.
My grand-father passed away this week. I only have my mother’s side (my parents are divorced and my dad and I don’t talk) so we’re quite close. When I was little and lived at the coast, my family all lived in streets parallel to each other. I learned to ride my bike in my grand-parents’ back garden. My grand-mother died 15 years ago, so I only had my grand-dad left.
My grand-father’s health had been getting worse for a while now and a couple of months ago, he was diagnosed with cancer. He had chemo and radiation and the doctors thought he could make a full recovery, but his body was too weak and eventually, this week, his heart just stopped.
I have lost family before and the heardest part, I find, is the moment you realise that they are really gone forever. That you will never see them again, never talk to them again. They have ceased to exist. They are no longer there.
I have so many great memories that I’ll cherish and I’m thankful that he got to meet my children, that he was at my wedding. And in the end, I’m glad that he didn’t have to wait for death and suffer. I’ll miss him. I am missing him. But that’s life I guess.
Anyway, this is why I haven’t posted this week. I couldn’t focus my thoughts enough to write reviews for the books I’ve read. I’ll see when I can manage to find the writing mood again.
And tell your loved ones how much they mean to you.